Looking for that New Year’s diet?

If you’re still feeling full and your belt feels tight after the Holidays, here’s a poem that sympathizes…

The Month After Christmas…

New Year,Christmas,diet,slimming,writing,blogging,Suzan St Maur

Too much to eat over the Holidays?

‘Twas the month after Christmas,

and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store

(less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—

I said to myself, as I only can

“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

“Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick.

I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—

But isn’t that what January is for?

blog,writing,news,blogging,Suzan St Maur,howtowritebetter.net,how to write betterUnable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

What slimming plans do you have for this New Year?

Serious articles and tutorials start again Monday Jan 6th … with a real humdinger about what you’re really  trying to sell. Don’t miss it…

photo credit: Yukari* via photopin cc




  1. Diet is a four letter word
    I don’t like celery, tastes like dirt.
    So I’ll eat sensibly but also good
    By making sure it’s healthy food.

  2. Diets are dreadful: they really do suck.
    Healthy food’s perfect: I wish you good luck!

  3. nice poem. loved it and perfect sympathizer for this season. i want to try a marathon this year.

  4. Thanks Amar – if I knew who had written the poem I would pass your comment on to him/her. However it’s one of those jokes that has been hanging around on the internet for several years now. I do write funny poems myself, too, but can’t lay claim to this one.

    Every good wish for your marathon this year – let us know how you’re getting on with your training!