Love puns? Become a PUNTHUSIAST!

Many thanks to a) my cousin Lindsay D in Ottawa and b) “Word Porn” for this delightful selection of puns for all you punthusiasts out there. I’ve seen a couple of these before but there are many which are fresh in my mind – hope they are in yours too.

And by the way, there is no such word as “punthusiast” … until now! Please take note, all you lexicographers and other jokers, that the mighty (well, fat) Suze St Maur has coined this NEW WORD … plus a few derivatives…

Punthusiasts love puns and exude punthusiasm. We read punthusiastically. And who knows: one day there may be a new science called “punthusiology.”

Anyway … enough with the new words and on with some puns – the truly serious business:

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

This person said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I had never met herbivore.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra (yes, this one I have definitely heard before!)

PMS jokes are not funny. Period.

Why were the Indians in North America first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory: I hope there’s no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested: charged with battery.

Pun fan? You'll love these

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make Holy water? Boil the Hell out of it.

What do you call a dinosaur with a huge vocabulary? A megathesaurus.

When you get a bladder infection, urine for trouble.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why that baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Are you a punthusiast? If so please share your favorite puns with us here!

HTWB HUMOR logo smallPunperfect other ways to make you laugh, too (instant downloads)

“The English Language Joke book”…hundreds of laughs about this crazy language of ours
The Bumper Book of Business Jokes“…over 500 wicked laughs about the workplace
How To Smile Through Cancer“…a cancer survivor’s journey of life and laughter

photo credit: Valters Krontals via photopin cc
photo credit: Mac_NZ via photopin cc

Comments

comments

Trackbacks

  1. […] Love puns? Become a Punthusiast! […]

  2. […] Love puns? Become a Punthusiast […]

  3. […] do you call a rabbit that tells good jokes? A funny bunny! (How about a punny bunny […]

Thoughts

*

css.php