More ways to insult without swearing

Another selection of glorious insults from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words … once again courtesy of my dear cousin Alyson who lives in Wakefield, Québec…(pictured.)


*A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

* “He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

* “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

* “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

* “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

* “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

* “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

* “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

Photo of Sir Winston Churchill borrowed with gratitude from Wikipedia

* “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second … if there is one..” – Winston Churchill, in response.

* “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

* “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

* “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

* “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

Want some more chuckles today? Check out over 370 further funny articles, jokes and poems right here on HTWB

* “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

* “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

* “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

* “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

* “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

* “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

* “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

* “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

* “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

And more ways to get your writing right!

“Super Speeches”…how to write and deliver them well

“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write

“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English




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