Naughty new views on old written sayings … by First Graders

Many thanks to my old friend Leslie F. from Toronto for sharing this hilarious selection of kids’ views on old proverbs and sayings…

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, especially as the last one is a classic!

Here goes – starter phrases, followed by kids’ responses 

 

Strike while the – bug is close.

It’s always darkest before – Daylight Saving Time.

Never underestimate the power of – termites.

You can lead a horse to water but – how?

Don’t bite the hand that – looks dirty.

No news is – impossible.

A miss is as good as a – Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new – math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll – stink in the morning.

Love all, trust – me.

The pen is mightier than the – pigs.

An idle mind is – the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke there’s – pollution.

Happy the bride who – gets all the presents.

A penny saved is – not much.

Two’s company, three’s – the Musketeers.

Don’t put off till tomorrow what – you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and – you have to blow your nose.

There are none so blind as – Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not – spanked or grounded.

If at first you don’t succeed – get new batteries.

You get out of something only what you – see in the picture on the box.

When the blind lead the blind – get out of the way.

A bird in the hand – is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER…

Better late than – pregnant.

More chuckles:

“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English

“English to English: the A to Z of British-American translations”…more than 2,000 business and social terms from the USA, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand

“The English Language Joke book”…hundreds of laughs about this crazy language of ours

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