Going through my archives I tripped over some new words I coined while waiting for some body-snatching procedure or other during the course of one of my medical treatments a couple of years ago. (These are along the lines of those “Washington Post” new words made from existing words with just one or two letters re-arranged.)

Bored with reading 12-month old copies of Hello! magazine in the hospital waiting room I sat down with a notebook and penned the following. No gory, bloody medical stuff, promise … just my overly-developed sense of the ridiculous working at full volume as it often does when I’m nervous.

Would you agree with these new words?

Beachcomper – someone who spends all day on an expensive beach somewhere doing crossword puzzles under an umbrella

Elpis – someone who insists on taking the p*ss out of Elvis impersonators

Fatuous – being virtuous while on a diet, but not getting anywhere with it

Governwent – outgoing government immediately post-election

Inferpretation – interpretation that acknowledges hesitancy, no matter what

Jesticals – jokes about mens’ naughty bits

Jestimonial – sycophantic praise bought and used in cheesy advertising

Incestment – investing in your family business

Microfright – something buzzing in the sky over your house that scares the potooties out of your dogs and cats

Monomoan – someone who complains loudly in a monotonous, boring voice

Motorlay – British roadside where “dogging” and other automobile-based sexual pursuits are carried out

Newsvetter – corporate wallah who makes sure a company’s PR output doesn’t offend company policy

Nulebrity – someone who presents a TV program on an obscure satellite TV channel than no-one watches

Procastriation – proctologist’s bespoke castration service

Pomprehension – pompously pretending to understand something you don’t

Pubication – someone who finds it amusing to sit on a scanner in their unclothed nether regions and distribute the result on the internet

Retainee – a detainee with no chance of release or parole

Sortage – what shakes down from a post-recession relook at your home ownership

Whensioner – older worker who should retire but doesn’t want to

And talking of new words I make up…

If you blog for business, you’ll like these articles of mine about “blogversation:”

Blogs and social media: how to share blogversations intelligently

Blogging and social media: write blogversational mini-posts

Blogs and social media: do you really own your blogversations?

Blogs and social media: how to write blogversational comments on others’ posts

photo credit: David Blackwell. via photopin cc

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