Going through my archives I tripped over some new words I coined while waiting for some body-snatching procedure or other during the course of one of my medical treatments a couple of years ago. (These are along the lines of those “Washington Post” new words made from existing words with just one or two letters re-arranged.)
Bored with reading 12-month old copies of Hello! magazine in the hospital waiting room I sat down with a notebook and penned the following. No gory, bloody medical stuff, promise … just my overly-developed sense of the ridiculous working at full volume as it often does when I’m nervous.
Would you agree with these new words?
Beachcomper – someone who spends all day on an expensive beach somewhere doing crossword puzzles under an umbrella
Elpis – someone who insists on taking the p*ss out of Elvis impersonators
Fatuous – being virtuous while on a diet, but not getting anywhere with it
Governwent – outgoing government immediately post-election
Inferpretation – interpretation that acknowledges hesitancy, no matter what
Jesticals – jokes about mens’ naughty bits
Jestimonial – sycophantic praise bought and used in cheesy advertising
Incestment – investing in your family business
Microfright – something buzzing in the sky over your house that scares the potooties out of your dogs and cats
Monomoan – someone who complains loudly in a monotonous, boring voice
Motorlay – British roadside where “dogging” and other automobile-based sexual pursuits are carried out
Newsvetter – corporate wallah who makes sure a company’s PR output doesn’t offend company policy
Nulebrity – someone who presents a TV program on an obscure satellite TV channel than no-one watches
Procastriation – proctologist’s bespoke castration service
Pomprehension – pompously pretending to understand something you don’t
Pubication – someone who finds it amusing to sit on a scanner in their unclothed nether regions and distribute the result on the internet
Retainee – a detainee with no chance of release or parole
Sortage – what shakes down from a post-recession relook at your home ownership
Whensioner – older worker who should retire but doesn’t want to
And talking of new words I make up…
If you blog for business, you’ll like these articles of mine about “blogversation:”
Blogs and social media: how to share blogversations intelligently
Blogging and social media: write blogversational mini-posts
Blogs and social media: do you really own your blogversations?
Blogs and social media: how to write blogversational comments on others’ posts
photo credit: David Blackwell. via photopin cc
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