New words you might find handy…

new words,funny jokes,humor,blogversation

Incestment: investing in your family business

Going through my archives I tripped over some new words I coined while waiting for some body-snatching procedure or other during the course of one of my medical treatments a couple of years ago. (These are along the lines of those “Washington Post” new words made from existing words with just one or two letters re-arranged.)

Bored with reading 12-month old copies of Hello! magazine in the hospital waiting room I sat down with a notebook and penned the following. No gory, bloody medical stuff, promise … just my overly-developed sense of the ridiculous working at full volume as it often does when I’m nervous.

Would you agree with these new words?

Beachcomper – someone who spends all day on an expensive beach somewhere doing crossword puzzles under an umbrella

Elpis – someone who insists on taking the p*ss out of Elvis impersonators

Fatuous – being virtuous while on a diet, but not getting anywhere with it

Governwent – outgoing government immediately post-election

Inferpretation – interpretation that acknowledges hesitancy, no matter what

Jesticals – jokes about mens’ naughty bits

Jestimonial – sycophantic praise bought and used in cheesy advertising

Incestment – investing in your family business

Microfright – something buzzing in the sky over your house that scares the potooties out of your dogs and cats

Monomoan – someone who complains loudly in a monotonous, boring voice

Motorlay – British roadside where “dogging” and other automobile-based sexual pursuits are carried out

Newsvetter – corporate wallah who makes sure a company’s PR output doesn’t offend company policy

Nulebrity – someone who presents a TV program on an obscure satellite TV channel than no-one watches

Procastriation – proctologist’s bespoke castration service

Pomprehension – pompously pretending to understand something you don’t

Pubication – someone who finds it amusing to sit on a scanner in their unclothed nether regions and distribute the result on the internet

Retainee – a detainee with no chance of release or parole

Sortage – what shakes down from a post-recession relook at your home ownership

Whensioner – older worker who should retire but doesn’t want to

And talking of new words I make up…

If you blog for business, you’ll like these articles of mine about “blogversation:”

Blogs and social media: how to share blogversations intelligently

Blogging and social media: write blogversational mini-posts

Blogs and social media: do you really own your blogversations?

Blogs and social media: how to write blogversational comments on others’ posts

photo credit: David Blackwell. via photopin cc

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  1. […] going around on the internet are anything to go by, the Washington Post publishes nothing but funny witticisms over and over again, BUT with new ones being added into the mixture every so […]

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