Olympics latest: who gets the gold medal for the stupidest question?

As you know the last Olympics (winter variety) were held in Vancouver, Canada, in 2010. The following questions were – I’m assured – genuine ones about Canada posted on a tourism website prior to the Games.

Perhaps I’m being over-protective of my Canadian heritage, but if anyone asked me one of these questions I’d whack
‘em over the head with a (Canadian) baseball bat.

Unfortunately the answers as shown below are just jokes; I really wish someone had had the b*lls to publish them. Original author unknown but whoever you are … good calls!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only 2,000 miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let’s not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.  Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving. And we don’t have ours ten minutes before Christmas.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Now, let’s make sure your writing wins gold, every time:

“Super Speeches”…how to write and deliver them well

“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write

“Business Writing Made Easy”…everything you need to know about writing for business in English

photo credit: *~YY~* via photo pin cc




  1. LOL!!! As a “real” Canadian, if I’d seen them I would have answered them the same way. We get a lot of “stupid” questions from “ignorant/ unknowledgeable” people here but I never get used to it. What do they teach in schools in other countries???

    • Good question, Trudy! It’s rather like people over here in Europe who, when I say I’m Canadian and come from Ontario, they say “oh, I have some friends in Calgary. Their name is Smith. Do you know them?” (I kid you not, that has actually happened.)

      Where the real problem lies, I think, is that children aren’t taught basic geography in the way older people were. The average teenager can tell you the GDP of Ecuador, but can’t read a map. And if you express horror, as I did once to my son a few years ago when he was supposed to be navigating for me on a trip, the reply was “who needs maps when we have Sat Navs?”

      I give up….!!

  2. Lol.. Nice one 🙂
    All the best to “such” people … may they win gold soon for their own special olympics…

  3. Thanks Suzan for your appreciation..