A poem if you’ve forgotten it’s UK Mothers’ Day

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If you’re in the UK – or your mother is – here’s a little ditty she may enjoy even if you’ve forgotten this special day…

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Poem to celebrate Mothers' Day UK
Happy UK Mothers’ Day, Mum

Hi there Mum, I tell you that
I’m sorry I’ve forgotten
To send you stuff to make you fat
And feel just plump and rotten.

Now think how hard you’ve dwelt on that
Big Keto diet you’ve worked on
Could I be such a silly tw*t
To spoil it with abandon?

No, of course this Mothers’ Day
I wouldn’t dream of shaking
Your strong resolve to keep your way
Of a slimmer figure making.

That’s why I’ve nixed the chocolate
And fancy roasted luncheon
You wouldn’t want such awful fat
Now would you? That’s my hunch-on.

Instead I’ve focused on your health
And stuck to gifts organic
Like fruits and veg of low-cost wealth
Won’t make your trainer panic.

I hope you love your gifts today
And here’s a bunch of flowers
Plus some veggies in a tray
To keep you full for hours.

And if you want to spice it up
You might consider boozing
Not that makes you go throw up
But maybe helps with schmoozing?

Now have a lovely day, dear Mum
We’re sorry to be elsewhere
But think, please, when your lunch is done
We’ll all be eating good fare…

Happy Mothers’ Day anyway!

With sincere apologies to families who have an ongoing dispute about being omnivore, vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan and all other such derivatives.

And what are you doing in the UK this Mothers’ Day?

Please share!

 

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