Pony jokes for daughters (and you may need them too)

Pony-mad children are gathering momentum for the northern hemisphere’s equestrian extravaganzas as schools close down for the summer.

Funny jokes about ponies

What’s the difference between a pony and a banana? Have you ever tried to peel a pony?

As most parents and other adult relatives/friends will know, such activities breed very high levels of adolescent hormones and resultant stress, anxiety, petulance, tantrums, sheer bloody mindedness and more: mainly, if not almost exclusively, amongst girls.

And these can cover a very wide range of disciplines, even within the pony confines. For example:

Pony-mania driving you nuts?

Here, therefore, are a few jollies to give you a smile and a few seconds’ worth of relief from all that pain…

What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough Stirrup!

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A pony!

What is a pony’s favourite sport?
Stable tennis!

Why did the foal cough?
Because he was a little hoarse!

Why was the farmer hopping mad?
Because a pony had trodden on his corn!

Where do you take sick ponies?
To the horsepital!

What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse!

What has four legs and flies?
A sweaty pony in the summer!

What in the past was a pony’s favourite TV soap?

Why don’t ponies make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!

What do you get when you cross a pony with a peppery vegetable?

What breed of pony is best at playing pub games?

What breed of pony tends to be clumsy?

Boyfriends or ponies? Key differences, for teenage girls

What time is it when a fat pony sits on the fence? Time to mend the fence!

What did the hungry Appaloosa say when he finished his haynet?
That hit the spots!

How do you stop a pony smelling?
Put a peg on its nose!

What do you call a Connemara who loves classical music?
A sym-pony

What do you call an Exmoor that’s good at business?
A com-pony

What time is it when a fat pony sits on the fence?
Time to mend the fence!

What’s spotted, stands in a puddle when it rains and doesn’t get wet?
An Appaloosa with an umbrella!

What looks white with red spots?
A grey pony with measles!

Why did the pony cross the road?
Because the chicken had taken the day off.

What do you call a pony at the North Pole?

What ‘s small, nippy, loves tourists’ sandwiches and has horns?
A New Forest pony marching band

What has four legs and sixteen wheels?
A pony on roller skates

What’s as big as a pony but weighs nothing?
The pony’s shadow

Pony owner: “my pony has gone lame. Do you know a good horse vet?
Yard manager:  “no, all the vets I know are humans!”

How to you tell the difference between a pony and a mouse?
Try picking them up!

What’s the difference between a pony and a piece of paper?
You can’t make a paper aeroplane out of a pony!

What’s the difference between a pony and a banana?
Have you ever tried to peel a pony?

Still seething? Share your pony-related frustrations here

We similarly long-suffering parents will sympathise.

Won’t we!!


pony humour by Suzan St MaurExcerpted from “The Pony Lover’s Joke Book” by Suzan St Maur… on all the Amazons. You’ll find the UK version here.

With grateful thanks for the use of this wonderful cartoon (above right) by the late and much-missed Norman Thelwell, to the Thelwell Estate 2013.


Upper image by Deviant Art