Secrets of the writing on the wall…

It’s such a shame people don’t think a bit harder when composing the words to write on signs. Here is a selection from my collection of “er, perhaps not” signs from around the world; would you agree that a little intelligent re-writing could have improved clarity and averted double meanings?

No kidding? Funny, but I would have said they were steps.

First we have some interesting lavatorial functions…

Very helpful signposting, but I’m neither a man nor a ladie.

No worries. I wasn’t planning to perform al fresco anyway.

And there should be no need for Oops, if I’m quick.

Then of course, we have the misunderstandings of a sexually reproductive nature…

What, ever? Don’t you think that’s a bit drastic?

Interesting approach for which family planning advice is unnecessary, I suspect.

…and this guy isn’t helping much, is he?

Is this before or after they’ve received their family planning advice?

I would be very interested to know what sort of show The Doggers put on. On the other hand, maybe not.

Then just when life gets utterly frustrating and you want to left off steam…

Oh, WHY NOT? Thank you too, *sshole. Now I have to go home and kick the cat.

…and fuel prices never stop going up, do they?

…so it’s hardly surprising that the parking deck has to go into rehab.

But at least this guy has got something good going for him…

High five, Boss Man, you’re my kind of bully.

Have you seen any good (or bad) signs lately?

Is this a sign you need some writing help?

“Super Speeches”…how to write and deliver them well

“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write

“Business Writing Made Easy”…everything you need to know about writing for business in English




  1. This is the irritatingly stupid billboard I drive by frequently (just a grammar error, but it bugs me):

    “If you’re not a Hawk [name of a local hockey team], your prey.”

    Funny that early in the sentence, the writer knew what “you’re” meant but forgot it a few words later.

  2. Sign seen on gate I used to pass during commute to work:
    This gate is alarmed

    I wanted to create my own and put it on the next gate. Mine would have said:
    This gate is terrified!

    I didn’t do it of course… 😉

  3. These are great – thanks for the laughs. I particularly like the parking ones.

  4. Every time I drive into town I see a signpost for “Sea Cadet’s” and it really annoys me. Sea Cadet’s what?

  5. Giggling, and will probably continue to giggle 🙂 oh that was so good! I will have to pass you some funny ones written in church notices – hilarious 🙂

    • That would be great, Anita, thanks in anticipation. I’m still collecting funny signs so when I get the next batch together I’ll share them with you all here…