Bogroll: a blogroll often seen along the sidebars of public conveniences
Aggrevator: a website that collects and redistributes blogposts and news based on information hacked from people’s phones
Alhurts: special alerts that by pass your RSS feed and give you a sharp electric shock when you touch your keypad – strictly for news of major importance
Bogosphere: comfort break facilities solely for the use of paid-up members of the blogosphere
Bogroll: a blogroll often seen along the sidebars of public conveniences
Chavatars: (Great Britain) avatars you can customise with fake Burberry clothes and accessories, tightly-pulled ponytails, excessive gold jewellery and white stiletto-heeled shoes
Chearch engines: search engines devoted solely to listings of worldwide religious establishments
Connection: what you suddenly don’t have when you’ve just spent an hour trying to upload some lengthy text to your website and you haven’t saved it
Content: a derogatory term meaning any old crap people throw together and publish online – especially offensive to serious writers who slave away for hours on end for little reward and……oh, sorry.
CMS: stands for Content Mutilation System – a system that manages to mangle whatever half decent content survives its initial culls
Copyright: an archaic term from offline days when you could get your wrist slapped for stealing someone’s else’s work. No longer recognised by 99 percent of internet users.
Default: expression used by some English speakers when experiencing difficulties with the internet, e.g. “it’s default of dat bliddy Microsoft”
De-unfriend: when you decide someone on Facebook whom you unfriended isn’t so bad after all
Drowser: one of the older-format browsers that is painfully slow
Extroll: how to describe your persistent blog critic whose address you have found and whose house you have just burned down
Flash: what saddos do while watching internet porn to try to shock the actors on screen
Flash: what saddos do while watching internet porn to try to shock the actors on screen
Flickthroughs: what web surfers do on PPC ads with no intention of buying, so racking up large, useless bills for the advertiser concerned
Flogger: a blogger who rants on at length about a topic until no-one is interested any more
Gluegle: a search engine similar to Google, only this one’s websites are somewhat stickier
Hashtags: symbols used to flag up suspected weed smokers and so warn that their comments and blog posts should be taken with a pinch of, er, salt.
Hommunities: online communities offering the option of offline residential get-togethers
Hyperlinks: links that make you jump back and forth energetically from place to place on the internet
Javascript: (USA) programming language developed by geeks who were wired on strong coffee and didn’t sleep for several days until it was done (this is true, by the way)
Mashup: combination of two or more ingredients used to create a new type of online recipe, usually but not exclusively consisting of vegetables
Mwidgets: standalone applications which are very, very small
Permalink: type of online address that, to acquire it, requires you to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 3 hours with your hair in tight curlers
Permalink: type of online address that, to acquire it, requires you to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 3 hours with your hair in tight curlers
Plodcast: a particularly long and boring podcast
RSS: stands for Really Stupid Sucker, usually in relation to someone who can’t figure out how feeds work
Rememe: an aide-memoire to help you remember what the hell a meme was before everyone started abusing the term
Server: main computer system that hosts websites etc., and is programmed to message all users with the words “enjoy your meal and have a nice day.”
Splitter: another new social media platform for people fed up with all the others, who just want to go off and get a life in 140 characters or less
Squitter: someone on Twitter with bad verbal diarrhoea whose tweets invariably get cut off midstream with no link to follow on
Steaming: a type of streaming reserved for very important news. Also can refer to pornographic information
Taxonomy: contraction of “tax on the economy” which is a polite way of saying a country has gone bust
Thwackback: a method of trackback whereby links can be slapped together between blogs at speeds which can break the sound barrier
Treads: threads on blogs and social media platforms where the conversation is concerned solely with footwear
Weddinar: a live wedding shown online via a webcam
Now, some help with your writing for SocMed:
“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write
“Business Writing Made Easy”…everything you need to know about writing for business in English
“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English
Excellent – what we’ve all been waiting for.
Glad you enjoyed it Doug … can you think of any more? I’m sure there are loads more to be done, so we could put together a part 2 …!