Some new words for you…

The “new words for old” gag – originally attributed to a competition run by the Washington Post newspaper – has been around on the internet for a long time. But it’s still fun to play.

The idea is you take an existing word, change, add or subtract one or two letters, and so make a new one. Here are some I dreamed up once while waiting to have an X-ray at the hospital … (NB I later learned that “horsepital” had been done before. Hope their waiting times are a little shorter than ours in the UK’s NHS.)

Pocastrination, n. Owners’ indecisiveness when wondering whether or not to have their dog neutered.

Horsepital, n. An equine veterinary clinic.

Pubication, n. What is produced when someone makes a copy of their nether regions whilst sat, without underwear, on the photocopier.

Jestimonial, n. That phoney praise from so-called satisfied customers, used in cheesey advertising.

Incestment, n. Investing in your family business.

BeastBenders, n. TV soap about scientists involved in genetic engineering.

Beachcomper, n. Someone who pays a fortune for a sunny beach holiday, then spends the whole time under an parasol doing prize crosswords.

Motorlay, n. Type of British road with adjacent parking suitable for courting couples.

Sortgage, n. The result of a thorough review of your finances and house purchase arrangements.

Nulebrity, n. A presenter no-one has ever heard of on a TV channel no-one ever watches.

Inferpretation, n. What happens when you interpret something without being sure you’re right.

Monomoan, v. To complain in a flat, humdrum, whiney voice.

Jesticals, n. Prostheses used during reconstructive surgery post-castration.

Now – your turn! Please post your new words as comments so we can share.

Get writing some great words that really work:

“Super Speeches”…how to write and deliver them well

“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write

“English to English: the A to Z of British-American translations”…more than 2,000 business and social terms from the USA, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand

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