Apostrophes: a potty-mouthed poem about their misuse

This is pretty horrible, but should wake up apostrophe abusers a lot more than the weedy articles we see politely explaining how to use the poor little things.

how to suse apostrophes

Do not fool with this small tool…

Apostrophe fascists around the (English speaking) world take note: share the following poem if you dare. Your readers may find it offensive but with luck it will get the message over.

A Poem For Apostrophe Dickheads

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Where you should stick your apostrophes

Where to stick your apostrophes

Do you know where you can stick yours?

“To those who care about punctuation, a sentence such as ‘Thank God its Friday’ (without the apostrophe) rouses feelings not only of despair but of violence,” says Lynne Truss in her classic humorous book “Eats, Shoots and Leaves.”

“The confusion of the possessive ‘its’ (without apostrophe) with the contractive ‘it’s’ (with apostrophe) is an unequivocal signal of illiteracy and sets off a simple Pavlovian ‘kill’ response in the average stickler.”

Now, whether or not you feel like killing someone when you see an apostrophe misused is not something I want to discuss here. But for those who sometimes feel an urge to kick the cat when looking at a straying apostrophe, believe me, you’re not alone. [Read more…]