Written instructions: how to, er, prepare for your first puppy dog

Thinking of getting a fluffy puppy dog to brighten your family’s life? Here’s all you need to know to get ready…LOL…

Written instructions: how to, er, prepare for your first puppy

Even the cutest of small puppies have teeth like needles. A more positive option is to use them to drill holes in leather goods that need lacing up.

Buy a pair of really expensive shoes (Gucci or Jimmy Choo are ideal). Bring them home, remove from box and place on chopping board.  Beat several times with meat tenderising hammer, then clip around edges with pinking shears. Laugh and throw them away.

Take your best white shirt or blouse from the wardrobe. Put it on, go out into garden on a rainy evening and splash liberally with mud. Observe the “dry clean only” label and smile. [Read more…]

Written rules for dogs, cats and humans

No matter how much we love our dogs and cats, there comes a time when we humans need to lay down the law. (A bit.) And equally, we pet lovers need to set out the rules for humans who visit and might turn up their nose at a stray cat hair in their eye or a doggy footprint on their incredibly expensive, light beige suede coat. Who cares?

rules for dogs, cats and humans

Don’t think I will sleep on the couch just because you need to stretch out on my bed. (Well, not always, anyway…)

Here are some useful guidelines to help us map out appropriate rules for all concerned in our homes. Original rule compiler unknown, but I concur absolutely with their thoughts… [Read more…]

How to speak doggie

By Elaine Stavert

Please welcome England-based Animal Complementary Therapist Elaine Stavert, who has studied widely across Applied Zoopharmacognosy, canine nutrition, canine massage and acupressure plus many more related disciplines. In this article, she shares the key points of knowing what drives your dog’s instincts and how to understand how he or she communicates and functions. Over to Elaine…

How to understand your dog and speak doggie

Your dog will tell you when he needs to rest, so listen to him.

[Read more…]

Writing new names for poodle-cross dogs…

Writing new names for poodle cross dogs

We could probably name this a FooledYouDoodle…

Unless you have been hiding under a dog blanket for the last year or three, you won’t fail to have noticed that doggie (human) types are cross breeding everything from a Labrador to an Elephant with a Poodle, to produce a doggie pet that has the characteristics of both breeds BUT does not shed hair.

Brilliant news for families where someone is allergic to doggie hair / dandruff etc. (although the concept doesn’t always work … but that’s another story.) [Read more…]

Why dogs are better than humans: a survey

Why dogs are better than men

dogs,humans,dogs are better than humans,women,men,humor,funny jokes,hilarious

Dogs are not afraid to look you in the eye

*Dogs do not think it’s “wet” to express their affection for you in public.
*Dogs don’t feel threatened by a woman who is intelligent, wears a trouser suit, earns more than they do or drives a fast car
*Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
*Dogs take the word “no” to mean “no,” not “perhaps” or “yes please” [Read more…]

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Dogs,humor,funny jokes,lightbulbsI just wish my dogs were clever enough to change lightbulbs in the first place. Meanwhile, enjoy the funny jokes!

Clumber Spaniel:
“The sun’s shining, the birds are singing, everything’s peaceful and rosy, and you’re indoors fretting over some stupid light bulb?”

Border Collie:
“Just me, of course. And have you had the wiring checked recently? OK, I’ll do that. And what about the switches? And the wall sockets? No time to lose, must get on, now where’s that screwdriver?” [Read more…]

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