Duchess of Cambridge’s b**bs: can’t the media find something else to write about?

I know it’s old-fashioned to tut-tut over the tabloid press and its cheap titivation (sorry…) but what a megafuss we’re looking at over this whole BosomGate issue and its implications…

Are the European (and no doubt other nations’) red-top / tabloid papers really so devoid of anything interesting to write about that they have to slap up tacky stories on their front pages about this nice girl’s neat but frankly rather small and un-fiddled-with mammary jobbies?

Men’s fantasy time … ZZzzzzzzz….

Here we go. Never mind metrosexual or gay men’s interests: from the frothing-at-the-mouth feeding frenzy over these saucy (yawn) pictures of Kate we must assume that all European (and Irish) men don’t give a sh*t about her intelligence, grace, poise, devotion to UK PLC, etc. and are only interested in her physical attributes. This is the image that the foreign journalists are painting with their written commentary on the issue – not just the photographs.

But wait a minute. Are the supposedly pro-royal, pro-Kate British press really backing her up for the bright, brave girl she is, even fully clothed?

Or are they basking in the reflected publicity these tacky photographs are generating by supposedly supporting her … while writing articles that cold-heartedly cash in on the whole rather boring and tedious story of which the only sensational element is two B cup b**bies?

If you want to write about b**bs…

Much as I find the whole issue of b**bs a little sensitive (I’ve only got one now, after breast cancer, but that one is a reasonable size) I really think the paparazzi ought to focus their half-mile-long lenses on b**bs with rather more substantial grunt.

Not only would this provide more gratifying mammaries for the tabloid oglers and voyeurs, but also it would enable the paps to save money by reducing the length of the lenses required and the need for the Photoshoppers to work their magic.

Also, it would save tacky journalists’ time by cutting down on the need for written explanations of why there’s such massive international hysteria over what amounts to – frankly – two fried eggs.

“She’s just another celebrity”

…so said the Irish newspaper that published the fried eggs unashamedly. No, no. Go find another “celebrity” with – this time – highly promotable, industrial-size assets for you to write  about and photograph.

And lay off this poor kid who has had the gross misfortune to enter the British royal family and become the next media victim … albeit with a less than mountainous front, but a world-class brain and her feet planted firmly on the ground.

Is a lawsuit the right way forward?

After all that has been written and portrayed, the royals are really between a rock and a hard place. No lawsuit might encourage the long-lensers to get even more acrobatic … and a lawsuit draws more attention to what really should have been flushed down the media toilet right from the start.

What do you think?

Now, here’s plenty to write about (and write well):

“Super Speeches”…how to write and deliver them well

“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write

“Business Writing Made Easy”…everything you need to know about writing for business in English


photo credit: Keith Laverack via photo pin cc