Ridiculous Easter jokes revisited again – with a twist this time

It’s time for Easter jokes and here are our old favourites once again, but this year I’ve updated my comments to reflect current issues, climates and other thorns in our side and added some new and intriguing thoughts.

Humorous Easter Eggs on How To Write Better

Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? It might crack up. (Or poach the joke.)

(If nothing else your kids will love them, and they’ll be able to explain them to you. Well, maybe not those about Donald Duckrump.)

Here we go…

Writing jokes about Easter: enjoy…

A white rooster was strutting around the henhouse on Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every colour of the rainbow. He took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the living daylights out of the resident peacock. (Explain that one, or if you don’t understand it ask a bright 8-year-old.)

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an over-stressed person?
An Easter basket case! (Plenty of those in the White House these days. One in particular.)

How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
EGG-xercise and HARE-robics! (Hares and rabbits are two entirely different animals, but never mind.) [Read more…]

Handy hints for 2015

Handy hints for 2015

Convince neighbors that you have invented a ‘shrinking’ device by ruffling your hair, wearing a white laboratory coat and parking a Mack truck outside your house for a few days.

You know how I love to share helpful ideas with you, and these are prime examples of some handy hints that, if not helping you, will at least have you helpless with laughter. Enjoy.

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen… [Read more…]

Thank you for my life-transforming emails

Thank you for my life-transforming emails

Thank you for my life-transforming emails

A special thank you, and particularly to whoever shared initially this sad list of conclusions arising from the unbelievably stupid emails we receive throughout the year…

At this time of year, I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months. [Read more…]

On getting (a bit) older…

On getting a bit older

My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with a handful of nice prunes and some All-Bran.

A few points to ponder: thanks to my good friend and HTWB columnist Lynn Tulip for bringing this depressing yet amusing list to my attention…

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really have answers any more.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. [Read more…]

New car models for 2015: a sneak preview

New car models for 2015: a sneak preview

The new BMW 666 – the devil’s own car to drive…

Do you love cars and the names the automotive industry spends millions on to think them up?

Thought you’d like to share this sneak preview I’ve been given of new car models due out in 2015 …

Please be warned that due to the commercial sensitivity of this list, you really must regard it as confidential … [Read more…]

Some wise advice about banks, banking, life and everything…

banks,banking,robbery,morals,funny jokes,humor,hilariousThanks to my good friend Laurence H. for sharing this learned parable about banks and banking, and how they relate to life in general.

It’s supposed to be funny, but actually is all too realistic…

A few years ago robbers entered a bank in a small town. One of them shouted, “don’t move! The money belongs to the bank. Your lives belong to you.” [Read more…]