Writing humour: fishy stories for pescatarians

I know it’s not as fashionable as being vegan, but for pescatarians like me there is nothing more heavenly than a luxurious Dover Sole Meunière or even the humble ‘fish and chips’ with steaming fresh cod encased in crunchy beer batter. If you feel the same way (or just like a good laugh) … read on…

jokes about fish

Humble but glorious fish-and-chips…

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Poem for a hot summer day

I’ve lost my gin in the greenhouse

by Andrea Kingston

Please welcome Andrea Kingston, a retired GP (family doctor) who volunteers with me in our local cancer group and – it turns out – is also a talented and hilarious poet! Here is one of hers I particularly enjoyed…

I’ve lost my gin in the greenhouse
Well goodness, gracious me!
As the glass is green
It remains unseen
And I’m thirsty don’t you see?

funny poem about lost gin

“Where’s my gin? I’m still in the greenhouse.”

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Working from home: a funny ‘pome’

Fed up with working from home? Fed up with lockdown, even though now that it’s lifting slowly? Are you sure??? Enjoy!

funny poem about lockdown, coronavirus and wokring from home

AFTER LOCKDOWN
The woes of working from home

I wish I weren’t so stuck at home
These walls are too familiar
I’m sick of being here on my own
Sat on my fat posterior.

Those curtains I once thought were great
Of such design seduction
Now make me want to masticate
Puke up my latest luncheon. [Read more…]

Diary of a self-isolator: Lockdowners’ Laughs Part One

Over on my personal Facebook page I’ve been running some jokes every evening and my followers are growing exponentially. I’ve laughingly declared myself the Humorist Laureate of the Coronavirus Pandemic – frivolous, I know, but it’s one of the few things I can do to help and something quite a few of us need – to laugh. It relieves the stress.

In this episode of Lockdowners’ Laughs … a festival of puns!

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Diary of a social distancer – coronavirus jargon buster (sort of)

Thought you might like to share my own definititions to help us find a little bit of humour in the demon bug. Here goes:

Lockdown: move performed during the sport of Stockpiling.

Coronavirus: deadly bug related to some simple cold viruses but makes them look like pimples on an elephant’s butt by comparison. Also a combination of two words into one, which I hate. Like ‘anymore’ instead of  ‘any more.’ (Spits.)

Corona: abbreviation of the above which doesn’t refer to a brand of beer or the halo around the sun, and don’t we know it by now. Sometimes affectionately abbreviated to ‘Rona.’ (Seriously.)

Lockdown: form of head-and-arm lock popular in the new sport of Stockpiling (see below). Usually performed by one or more players on supermarket staff who try to stop them amassing more stock. [Read more…]

Diary of a social distancer – are you at the WTF stage?

Does normality seem like it was 100 years ago?
Do you feel that the effing COVID bug has kicked your legs out from under you and taken the p*ss out of everything you previously thought was OK?

Are you at the WTF stage about Coronavirus?

OKies … let’s hear it.

WHAT THE F*CK!!!

(Apologies to non-swearers but hey – come on, this is not an ordinary occasion.)

Scary times.

Made even worse by the fact that we don’t really know what next to be scared of.

What next? Not humour, FFS? 

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