Job seeker’s nightmare: what NOT to write in your CV/résumé

“Résumania” is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting’s parent company, to describe the goofs that often appear on job candidates’ CVs/résumés, job applications and covering letters. Here are some examples (original authors unknown):

Job seeker's nightmare: what NOT to write in your CV/résumé“I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.”  (And an eye on the “e” section of the dictionary, evidently.)

“Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.”  (No problem …)

“Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.”  (Glad to hear it.)

“My compensation should be at least equal to my age.”  (And bonuses tied to his shoe size?)

“I am very detail-oreinted.”  (With the possible exception of spelling)

“I can play well with others.”  (We’ll be sure to tell your mommy.)

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“Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.”  (A new twist on work-family balance.)

Job seeker's nightmare: what NOT to write in your CV/résumé“Objection: To utilize my skills in sales.”  (Have you considered law school?)

“My salary requirement is $34 per year.”  (They say money isn’t everything.)

“Served as assistant sore manager.”  (Ouch.)

“Previous experience: Self-employed – a fiasco.”  (Definitely to the point.)

“I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live.”  (And they say loyalty is hard to come by.)

“Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice-president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”  (We’re glad you’re not bitter.)

Now, let’s make sure what you write does  get you a job!

“How To Write About Yourself”…how to make the most of yourself, whatever you need to write

“Business Writing Made Easy”…everything you need to know about writing for business in English

“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English

photo credit: TooFarNorth via photopin cc

“I’m a business writer and business writing trainer. Questions, kids?”

OK, that’s what I am … but who understands what it means, especially when you’re a teenager?

Recently I have been doing some (voluntary) work here in Milton Keynes, England, helping secondary/high school kids learn more about the realpolitik  of the business world. We’re very lucky to have two organisations running schemes where business people go into these schools and talk to students: one is ProActive Education, and the other is the charity Worktree.

Teaching high school students about business and business writing

Students need to know that no matter how boring it may seem, correct grammar/spelling/punctuation in job applications and CVs/résumés can make the difference between getting a job … and not getting it.

So what exactly does this entail, and how much do these teenagers know – if anything – about the importance that business writing will have in their future careers? [Read more…]

If you don’t think you’re good, why the hell should I?

Trying to make forward progress in almost anything when you don’t have faith in your ability to do it, just doesn’t work. No matter how well you conceal it, your uncertainty will wind itself around your neck and stop you from showing what you’re really capable of.

How To Write About YourselfAnd no more does this apply than when you have to write about yourself for a job application, or even in a short biography. There’s lots more on this topic in my eBook “How To Write About Yourself” – but now let’s take that a stage further to help you believe, and behave, as well as you write about yourself.

We’ve got to snap out of our modesty culture [Read more…]

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