Diary of a self-isolator: Lockdowners’ Laughs … Easter & Passover jokes

Updated April 2020. When this period of Easter, Passover and other religious events should be observed within gatherings of family and friends – not on lockdown standing at least two metres away from the family you live with and not being allowed to see our folks who live elsewhere other than through the cold, squinty eye of a digital camera – we can at least have a few laughs to help us through it.

Here are some jokes about Easter, and further down about Passover (Pesach) for you to share with your folks and give you all a smile.

Humorous Easter Eggs on How To Write Better

Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? It might crack up.

Jokes about Easter: enjoy…

A white rooster was strutting around the henhouse on Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every colour of the rainbow. He took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the living daylights out of the resident peacock.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an over-stressed person?
An Easter basket case!

How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
EGG-xercise and HARE-robics! [Read more…]

Diary of a self-isolator: Lockdowners’ Laughs Part One

Over on my personal Facebook page I’ve been running some jokes every evening and my followers are growing exponentially. I’ve laughingly declared myself the Humorist Laureate of the Coronavirus Pandemic – frivolous, I know, but it’s one of the few things I can do to help and something quite a few of us need – to laugh. It relieves the stress.

In this episode of Lockdowners’ Laughs … a festival of puns!

[Read more…]

An English writing grammar fiend walks into a bar…

You may think you’ve heard all the jokes about ‘A xxxx walks into a bar,’ but I guarantee the majority of you won’t have heard all of the following. English language lovers will adore them and even grammar fiends and fascists might crack a smile.

horse in bar

A horse walks into a bar. “Why the long face?” asks the barman. “I’m a horse.”

I have tried to find the original author but it seems these have been circulating on the internet for some time so have become embedded in the ‘anonymous’ category as far as I know.

If any of you know otherwise, please let me know on suze@suzanstmaur.com and of course I will accredit the right people.

In the meantime I thank my good friend and fellow business networker Anne Bryant for flagging this up to me on my Facebook page

The ultimate writing about ‘walking into a bar’ – bar none

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. [Read more…]

Why entrepreneurs have much to learn from little old ladies

Have you ever been done over by a clever little old lady? This bank president had … and the lesson he learned was that entrepreneurial skills are not merely the domain of young, thrusting Type A people.

It took the wit and deviousness of this elderly lady to bring two very senior professionals down to size in this allegedly (hmmm) true story…

joke about balls

I’ll bet you $25,000 that your b*lls are square.

How to outwit your opposition

[Read more…]

Ridiculous Easter jokes revisited again – with a twist this time

It’s time for Easter jokes and here are our old favourites once again, but this year I’ve updated my comments to reflect current issues, climates and other thorns in our side and added some new and intriguing thoughts.

Humorous Easter Eggs on How To Write Better

Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? It might crack up. (Or poach the joke.)

(If nothing else your kids will love them, and they’ll be able to explain them to you. Well, maybe not those about Donald Duckrump.)

Here we go…

Writing jokes about Easter: enjoy…

A white rooster was strutting around the henhouse on Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every colour of the rainbow. He took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the living daylights out of the resident peacock. (Explain that one, or if you don’t understand it ask a bright 8-year-old.)

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an over-stressed person?
An Easter basket case! (Plenty of those in the White House these days. One in particular.)

How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
EGG-xercise and HARE-robics! (Hares and rabbits are two entirely different animals, but never mind.) [Read more…]

Valentine’s Day jokes and poems to make your day go with a, er, bang

A few years ago I curated some amusing Valentine’s Day (rude in places) content, and wrote quite a lot of new content in its honour.

Updated humour about Valentines Day on HTWBIf you should find yourself not quite in the gooey-eyed, romantic mood you should be in, say “to hell with it” and have some laughs. Here’s that content again…

Valentine’s Day rhyming couplets

Romantic first lines, not-so-romantic second lines

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was p*ssed

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you would hide your face. [Read more…]

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