What to write to overseas friends about Brexit…LOL

As we’re all wondering just what the hell will happen about Brexit to those of us who live in the UK, it can hardly be surprising that people living outside of the UK are utterly bewildered and wondering what even more about what will happen next.

I thought, therefore, that I would jot down a short, jocular poem (which you can sing to a favourite country music track, if you prefer) about Brexit to share when you’re emailing or texting your friends overseas. This poem will explain to them about as much as any of us here in the UK know.

Humorous poem about Brexit

(with apologies for a few expletives, but I have asterisked them.)

I got the Brexit blues, it’s giving me pain, danged Brexit
That Theresa May’s a star but she ain’t goin’ very far
‘Cos those good old boys called “Bruxellaires***
Got her right by her short hairs
And there ain’t nobody figures how she hacks it. [Read more…]

Here’s to our Easter Feaster…

Have you started on the Easter eggs yet? Better read this first… (and a very Happy Easter to you from HTWB!)

Here's to our Easter Feaster...

To paint an eggshell
Is an art few do well


Here comes our Easter
Well, what a feaster!
Stuffing our faces for four solid days [Read more…]

Oh, Wordsworth: what have I done to your daffodils?

Sorry, William Wordsworth. Seeing your “host of golden daffodils” blooming in the pouring rain, in England, in early January this year, I couldn’t help but borrow your format to express my utter amazement. In a far less literary, but probably more contemporary way…

Oh, Wordsworth: what have I done to your daffodils?

F*** me, those must be daffodils

[Read more…]

And now that the feasting is over…

If you spent a lot of time cooking and catering over the Holidays you may well identify with this little poem I penned for us last year. Pour yourself a glass of leftover eggnog or wine, then read and enjoy…

And now that the feasting is over...

If anyone asks me for more bits of turkey, I’ll smack ‘em so hard that their faces won’t worky.

Christmas is over
The turkey is gone
Dismembered, digested
And perfectly spun…

…into many waste products
Down sewers and wells
In unmentionable forms
With unmentionable smells. [Read more…]

The Nativity with a modern twist…

Welcome back to roller banner supremo and performance poet extraordinaire Steve Crawford, who has penned his own version of the Nativity story for us in verse…enjoy!

The Nativity with a modern twist

“Nowadays a call to social services, means they would take that baby away.”

On Christmas night apparently, baby Jesus had been put in a manger.

There were horses and cows and some sheep there too, sounds to me like he could be in danger. [Read more…]

How to write poetry: 5 essentials you need to know

how to write poetry,poems,verse,rhymes

Carolyn is currently promoting her latest book, The Moonsparrow Collection

Many HTWB readers have asked me to run more articles about poetry, and I want to learn more about it, too! Here we have US-based multi-published poet Carolyn Wolfe who has agreed to share her 5 key things to remember when starting to write poetry – some very valuable advice.

Over to Carolyn…

Greetings to all of you poets and bards out there!

The first thing I would like to do, before I give my advice, is to explain that when I write my poems for general readership, I write poetry in free verse.  This type of poetry does not have any particular rhythm or rhyme to it.  [Read more…]