Valentine’s Day jokes and poems to make your day go with a, er, bang

A few years ago I curated some amusing Valentine’s Day (rude in places) content, and wrote quite a lot of new content in its honour.

Updated humour about Valentines Day on HTWBIf you should find yourself not quite in the gooey-eyed, romantic mood you should be in, say “to hell with it” and have some laughs. Here’s that content again…

Valentine’s Day rhyming couplets

Romantic first lines, not-so-romantic second lines

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was p*ssed

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you would hide your face. [Read more…]

Valentines Day love from the Grammar Police

You can’t say we don’t celebrate romance here on #HTWB … even the Grammar Police have, er, something to say about Valentine’s Day. If you want an alternative to the schmaltzy goo that permeates February 14th, you’re in the right place. Enjoy.

HTWB Valentines Day humor

Take my heart its yours on a plate. Keep it till you learn how to punctuate.

VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THE GRAMMAR POLICE

Roses are red, violets are blue
That’s just a cliché. Don’t like it? Go scr*w.

Violets is blue, roses is red,
Get noun/verbs together, you puerile d*ckhead.

And roses are red while violets are blue
Don’t start with conjunctions, they’re strictly taboo. [Read more…]

18 bitchy Valentine messages to send to your ex

Some delightfully bitchy rhyming couplets in honour of all those who find themselves happily or unhappily single on Valentine’s Day … perfect messages to send to your ex partner by text/SMS or on social media. Enjoy…

18 bitchy Valentine messages to send to your ex

I loved to be with you from when we were wed. As long as you left that brown bag on your head.

[Read more…]

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