So we love puns, right? Here are even more

Haunted French pancakes give me the crèpes. Here’s another handful of puns (there may be one or two duplications from earlier collections) to give us some clever smiles for this post-Independence Day, post-Canada Day weekend.

And yes: I am a newly converted Punthusiast. Here’s a Suze original to start us off:
After my car accident I called St Christopher a lying old fraud. I couldn’t have insulted a Saint Maur.
(OK, I’ll get my coat.)

more puns on HTWB

Meanwhile the latest punsations as provided, once again, by my dear friend Laurence H. from London, England:

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.

Anyone want me to collect all the puns on HTWB and issue them as an eBook?

Say so and I’ll do it one of these days! We must have hundreds going back to 2011 when HTWB first started. And maybe I might just offer it for free to HTWB readers, if you sign up to my upcoming newsletter. That is privately run by MEEE and my wonderful VA, and will have your details locked up tighter than they would be in Fort Knox. (All GDPR certified.)

Don’t worry, I won’t be sending out newsletters very often, especially for the rest of this year as I am a) moving house and b) trying to finish two books of my own as well as working on 15 author book projects each of which I love to bits.

Newsletters would just catch you up on the latest articles here on HTWB and also over on my Facebook HTWB page where I include articles from the site here, plus those written by others (about writing, of course) whose content and style I value.

Whaddya think? Let me know pleeeeeze. Your feedback will be very helpful.

Sz x

 

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