Why dogs are better than humans: a survey

Why dogs are better than men

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Dogs are not afraid to look you in the eye

*Dogs do not think it’s “wet” to express their affection for you in public.
*Dogs don’t feel threatened by a woman who is intelligent, wears a trouser suit, earns more than they do or drives a fast car
*Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
*Dogs take the word “no” to mean “no,” not “perhaps” or “yes please”
*Dogs miss you when you’re away from home.
*Dogs don’t argue with you over your choice of television program – they’re just happy to lie at your feet
*Dogs, when they reach middle age, will never feel the need to leave you for a younger owner
*Dogs think you’re a Cordon Bleu chef no matter what you feed them
*Dogs are usually pleasant to your friends when they drop by for coffee
*Dogs don’t boast about who they have slept with and how many times
*Dogs are not afraid to look you in the eye
*Dogs never complain about your driving and don’t mind admitting it if they get lost
*Dogs don’t mind if your hair isn’t done, you’re not wearing makeup, or you haven’t shaved your legs

Why men are better than dogs

*Men can only track mud and dirt into the house with two feet, rather than four
*Men don’t shed as much hair
*Men don’t feel the need to wee on lamp posts or play with everyone they meet in the park
*Men can open their own cans, and can dry themselves after a bath without spraying water over quite so many surfaces
*Men do not drool or eat cat poop from the litter tray
*Men can take themselves to the doctor and if you go with them, do not normally climb up on your lap in the waiting room and shiver with fear

Men and dogs – common characteristics

*Both mark their territory and break wind indiscriminately
*Both seem to smell less attractive as they get older
*Both fail to notice if you’ve had your hair done or your legs waxed
*Both have an unfailing dislike of vacuum cleaners
*Both take up far too much space in the bed and monopolize the bedclothes
*Both fail to share your fondness for cats

Why dogs are better than women

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Dogs understand that breaking wind
in the living room is just a normal
part of household life

*A dog’s parents are very unlikely to come to stay with you, even at Christmas
*Dogs love it when your friends drop by to watch football on TV, especially if they bring beer and pizzas
*Dogs don’t criticize you if you come home drunk – in fact they’re pleased to see you
*Dogs don’t object to you being their master
*Dogs are in agreement with the theory that to get your point across, you need to shout
*Dogs understand that breaking wind in the living room is just a normal part of household life
*Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name
*Dogs don’t mind if you sell or even give away their offspring
*Dogs don’t care about all the other dogs you’ve had in the past
*Dogs don’t expect you to call them if you’re going to be home late
*Dogs never make you wait when you’re going out – they’re always ready before you are

Why women are better than dogs

*Women can fetch the mail and newspapers from the front door without leaving teeth marks and slobber on them
*Women will tend to clear your dirty socks away and wash them, not chew them up or bury them
*Women do not have to be walked at 10:00 p.m. in the rain after you’ve had a bad day at work
*Women will usually have just one offspring at a time
*Women’s idea of a good dinner is rather more appetizing than canned meat and dry kibble

Women and dogs – common characteristics

*Both look rather silly when wearing hats
*Both attach too much importance to kissing and petting
*Both are very good at making you believe they’re listening to every word you say
*Both know nothing whatsoever about football
*Both usually dislike beer, or at least large quantities of it
*Both can eat a kilo of chocolate in one go
*Both are unable to tell you what they’re really thinking
*Larger examples of both species tend to have problems with their hips

Which species do you think is the better overall? 🙂




  1. I was just saying to the man (real not dog) in my life today how funny it was to see all these folk walking their dogs in the woods today and the dogs ruled as they ignored there owners with such wild and deliberate naughtiness – it was comical…probably today I think Dogs rule and rock!

    • Dogs are hilarious, especially when they play together. I now have four dogs including two young “cockapoos” who were destined for the dog pound because their selfish, wealthy owners were bored with them … anyway they are now playing havoc here with my Gordon Setter (pictured upside down in a chair in the article) who despite being 5 years old is still a puppy at heart. They play together both in the house and in the garden and fields beyond for hours every day. My old mutt (pictured looking very grand in the article) looks down his nose at them in disgust… but for me they are so entertaining and yes, I think dogs rule and rock, too!

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