T’was the night before Christmas – old Santa was p*ssed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
T’was the night before Christmas
– old Santa was p*ssed
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole works
I’ve busted my *ss for damn near a year
Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money – the reindeer all fight
Rudolph got drunk and g**sed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those *ssholes from IRS sent me a letter
They say I owe taxes – if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa some money
And the kids these days – they all are the pits
They want the impossible …Those mean little sh*ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls…Their arms, legs and heads
Made a ton of yo yos – but yo yos are off
They want tablets and laptops…I’m not Microsoft!
If you think that’s bad…just picture this
Try holding those brats…with their pants full of p*ss
They pull on my nose – they grab at my beard
And if I don’t smile…parents think I am weird
Flying through the air…dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat *ss and draw unemployment
There’s no Christmas this year…now you know the reason
I found me a blonde…am going SOUTH for the season!!
Serious articles and tutorials start again Monday Jan 6th … stand by!
photo credit: Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com) via photopin cc
Thoughts