Why you should never try to outsmart your kids

If you thought children didn’t have a way with words, you’d be wrong – as these kids prove in this funny selection of teacher put downs. Original author unknown. Enjoy!


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:   Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS:  Maria!


TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?

FRANK:   Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

FRANK:  The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”


TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:  You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”

GLENN:    K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong

GLENN:    Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:   Yesterday you said it’s H to O!


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.



TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?

GOSS:  Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.”

MILLIE:  I is…

TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, “I am.”

MILLIE:  All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”


TEACHER:  Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?

TINO:   Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”


TEACHER:  George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

LOUIS:   Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:    No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER:  Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

CLYDE:  No, teacher, it’s the same dog!


TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:   A teacher.

Some more smiles in writing:

“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English

“English to English: the A to Z of British-American translations”…more than 2,000 business and social terms from the USA, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand

“The English Language Joke book”…hundreds of laughs about this crazy language of ours




  1. Reminds me of a maths exam paper I once saw in a primary school.
    There were two boxes to a maths question. The small one was for the final answer, The big one had the instruction ‘Now show how you worked it out’ (or something like that, I can’t remember the exact wording).
    In this box one child had drawn a beautiful picture of himself sitting on a chair at the desk 😉

  2. Ola- the business detective says

    Groan – but the old ones are the best lol. I’ve created a # saidbymy13yrold just to capture some of the gems a favourite of mine “It my awkward face that looks a lot like laughing”