Trying to write and sweat at the same time…

If you’re working from home and do not benefit from the rewards (hopefully healthful) of working in a fully airconditioned office building, right now during COVID-19 issues anyway … have a read. I sympathise. And right at the bottom is a suggestion to take a leaf out of our Canadians’ book…


It’s 34 degrees outside
Perfect for dear old Dubai
But western Bedfordshire’s not quite
So suited to such temps that high.

I open all my windows up
Expecting cooler air to share
Oh, “wrongeroonie” I exclaim
It’s f***ing hellish-hot out there!

funny poem about working during a heatwave with no air conditioning

As I sweat and look just ghastly, I think back to babyhood…

I may as well crank up my oven
Up to two hundred C or more
Wait till it’s well up and running
Then just open up its door.

Stupid, yes, but reassuring
Yes, it’s hot as hell out there
But at least my dear fan oven
Makes me feel more normal here.

Meanwhile I shut all the windows
Cursing lack of drafts or breezes
Open? Shut? What’s the upshot?
None of the above do pleazzzus.

Air conditioning? Who said that?
Something that dear Brits ignore
Just a foreign bit of folklore
Totally just a needless bore.

As I sweat and look just ghastly
I think back to babyhood…
…in Canada where those hot summers
Are so normal – understood?

Will not bore you with the systems
Canucks use to find a way
To heat in winter, cool in summer
It just works. And that’s OK.

As I drip all over keyboard
Sweat – not genius (!!!) – just from heat
Let’s think hard on global warming
Get some kit out to defeat …

…these stinky days of sweaty downtime
Bo-Jo, hear me out right now
Put some aircon into new homes
Save us from this heat somehow.

(And if you learn from Canadian / North American technology you will see how to incorporate systems into UK new homes that are energy-efficient AND do the job of “cool in summer, warm in winter.”)

What do you think about the need for more permanent air conditioning in UK homes?

Please share your views. With global warming pushing us towards more thought on this … it’s important we prepare for it now.