The dirty truth about, er, garbage (in verse)

Think you know what happens to garbage (rubbish) in our so-called civilised countries? Do we really know the truth? And should we write some poetry about it? (Here’s mine…)

HTWB garbage poem 2017

Does it really get recycled all in one hit? Or are we being fed some more utter bull sh*t?


Political correctness now spreads right into the rubbish
(Or garbage if you live towards the west of the Atlantic)
So much as we continue to throw out the normal bullsh*t
We’re leaned upon to file our crap in detail that’s just frantic.

Here I speak from experience of life in western nations
Where sorting out your garbage ranges from a bit to ludicrous
OK, it’s fair to sort stuff to avoid those junk mutations
But colours, sizes, fabrics, hues – to me it’s just ridiculous.

Let’s take bottles, empty ones, to serve us for a start
It’s not enough that they’re made of glass: no, glass has many shades
We have to line them up in hues as finely drawn as art
So garbage folks can throw them in the rightly coloured grades.

Then of course there’s garden waste, from weeds to short grass cuttings
How do we group the browns and greens, in classifiable clippings?
And God forbid the spade should skid and dogshit’s in the gubbins
No, garden waste must make post-haste for purely PC pickings.

Next on the list is metal stuff from tin cans to aluminum
(Or aluminium if you’re British and a Grammar Nazi)
Metallurgists, you’re right at home; but for us it’s pandemonium
Meanwhile it’s harder to get right than languages like Swazi.

And d’you know what? Here’s where my nasty sneaky little brain
Departs from PC thoughts and just starts festering
Suspecting now that all this stuff as garbage or recycling
All gets dumped in landfill sites – the same ones: sweet sequestering.

Do you really believe that the garbage/rubbish you so carefully separate truly goes to recycling?

Please share your views!

If you enjoyed this, there are dozens more humorous poems and music articles right here on #HTWB

Have you read your Huff Post today?

Mischieverse is coming…

Excerpted from “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes”

by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017




  1. Elliott Rodgers says

    Local to me there’s a recycling centre where there is a pile of paper the size of a house slowly decomposing, inks leeching into ground near a river…