Yankee Doodle Dandy rewritten for USA Independence Day

medium_2753620187In a special tribute to these “two countries split by a common language,” I have rewritten the lyrics to Yankee Doodle bringing them up to date from the bad old days of the Boston Tea Party and other unfortunate misunderstandings between the UK and the USA.

(PSSSTTT…don’t tell anyone, but Wikipedia claims the song was first sung by British military officers about the Yankees….sing along, anyway!)

Early lyrics are on the left: thenew ones in the right hand column. Enjoy.

Yankee Doodle went to town
A-riding on a pony,
Stuck a feather in his cap
And called it macaroni’.

Yankee Doodle drank some tea
Straight from Boston harbor
Damn those Brits, gave him the sh*ts
So Yankee couldn’t ride far.

Chorus:
Yankee Doodle keep it up,
Yankee Doodle dandy,
Mind the music and the step,
And with the girls be handy.

Chorus:
Yankee Doodle keep it right
Yankee Doodle zappy
Mind your manners day and night
And let the West be happy

Fath’r and I went down to camp,
Along with Captain Gooding,
And there we saw the men and boys
As thick as hasty pudding.

Dad and I flew overseas
To Europe bright and breezy
But what we found right on the ground
Was not what you’d call easy.

Chorus

And there we saw a thousand men
As rich as Squire David,
And what they wasted every day,
I wish it could be saved.

People made us welcome, sure
Europe loves a Yankee
But when politics occur
They think we’re pretty wankee

Chorus

The ‘lasses they eat it every day,
Would keep a house a winter;
They have so much, that I’ll be bound,
They eat it when they’ve mind ter.

Now that British tea had made
All the Yankees poop more
Gave the Yankees great ideas
For worldwide faster food power

Chorus

And there I see a swamping gun
Large as a log of maple,
Upon a deuced little cart,
A load for father’s cattle.

Fortunately Uncle Sam
Has traveled far and yonder
Yankee food hits just the mood
Wherever humans wander

Chorus

And every time they shoot it off,
It takes a horn of powder,
and makes a noise like father’s gun,
Only a nation louder.

Politics and other tricks
Just get forgotten chop, chop
When British fans make dinner plans
At the old fish and chip shop.

Chorus

I went as nigh to one myself
As ‘Siah’s inderpinning;
And father went as nigh again,
I thought the deuce was in him.

What’s to eat is such a treat
Makes politics look boring
Now Yankee Doodle food is here
Even the Queen’s adoring…

Chorus

Cousin Simon grew so bold,
I thought he would have cocked it;
It scared me so I shrinked it off
And hung by father’s pocket.

And so the Brits and Yanks do well
To stuff their greedy faces
Politics can go to hell
While fries and burgers please us

Chorus

And Cap’n Davis had a gun,
He kind of clapt his hand on’t
And stuck a crooked stabbing iron
Upon the little end on’t

Yankee Doodle crossed the sea
Though Boston tea still labors
But Happy Independence Day
You lovely US neighbors!

Now sing along with your new lyrics!

While you’re here, don’t forget to stop by my Bookshop…books and eBooks to help you write better – and to give to friends and family…

photo credit: Victor Jeg via photopin cc

Comments

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Thoughts

  1. How do you do it? Great to wake up to a 4th July smile 😉

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